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Witty/funny lines
Jun 19, 2011 at 1:53am
Hey guys, what's some good witty/funny lines you know and would like to share?
Don't have to have any relation to anything, but I'de appreciate it if we kept racism etc. to a minimum!
"The best cigarette is your last one... all 1000 of them"
"I can name fingers and point names!"
"[everything Dr. Cox says in Scrubs]"
Don't have to have any relation to anything, but I'de appreciate it if we kept racism etc. to a minimum!
"The best cigarette is your last one... all 1000 of them"
"I can name fingers and point names!"
"[everything Dr. Cox says in Scrubs]"
Jun 19, 2011 at 4:16am| I can name fingers and point names! |
That's not witty. That's Yogi Berric.
-Albatross
Jun 19, 2011 at 4:19am
As someone on these very forums once said,
"Only Chuck Norris can dereference void pointers."
http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/general/40856/#msg220720
"Only Chuck Norris can dereference void pointers."
http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/general/40856/#msg220720
Last edited on Jun 19, 2011 at 4:22am
Jun 19, 2011 at 4:16pm
Wow, how bad is it that I still remember that thread. Ben Jelly pissed me off more then spoon licker ever did.
@ OP: I have a feeling you're the type of person who would like Jimmy Car.
One of my favorites:
- "Would you like to hear a rhetorical joke?" - Some random on the internet.
@ OP: I have a feeling you're the type of person who would like Jimmy Car.
One of my favorites:
- "Would you like to hear a rhetorical joke?" - Some random on the internet.
Jun 19, 2011 at 5:26pm| Ben Jelly pissed me off more then spoon licker ever did. |
Keep 'em coming, please!
EDIT: Yes! This is great!
| spoon licker (39) Mar 15, 2011 at 9:21pm |
| hanst99 (1322) Mar 15, 2011 at 9:23pm |
| spoon licker (39) Mar 15, 2011 at 9:24pm |
| hanst99 (1322) Mar 15, 2011 at 9:30pm |
| spoon licker (39) Mar 15, 2011 at 9:42pm [...] Also, why did you take so long to answer? |
Last edited on Jun 19, 2011 at 5:54pm
Jun 19, 2011 at 5:52pm
Jimmy Car is great. One-line comedy is always entertaining.
- A wise man has always wondered why a frisbee appears bigger the closer it gets. Then it hit me.
- They say the camera adds 20lbs. Then stop eating bloody cameras!
- I remember as a child looking up at the stars and thinking: where the f***s the roof?
- A wise man has always wondered why a frisbee appears bigger the closer it gets. Then it hit me.
- They say the camera adds 20lbs. Then stop eating bloody cameras!
- I remember as a child looking up at the stars and thinking: where the f***s the roof?
Jun 19, 2011 at 6:08pm
@ helios: I remember reading here that spoon licker might have been someone who was fighting with them self for lolz. But we knew from the start that spoon licker was a troll, Ben Jelly was some kid who didn't know how to ask a question and would then get pissed if you decided not to help them.
Jun 19, 2011 at 6:25pm| Ben Jelly was some kid who didn't know how to ask a question and would then get pissed if you decided not to help them. |
Don't you love people with no patience who reason that the purpose of everyone in the world is to serve them?
Jun 19, 2011 at 6:28pm| Jimmy Car is great. One-line comedy is always entertaining. |
I've never heard Jimmy Car, but as far as one-line comedians go, it's damn near impossible to top Mitch Hedberg.
Jun 19, 2011 at 6:34pm
Too bad he died. He was great.
- Rice is great if you're hungry and you want 2000 of something
- It looks like you guys were chasing after me but then stopped to listen to what I had to say
He was great. Stewart Francis is also pretty funny and there's another comedian too that was at Just for Laughs who was good. He had a particularly large nose and talked very poignantly. Crowd was pretty rough on him though. I guess they were expecting more stories.
- Rice is great if you're hungry and you want 2000 of something
- It looks like you guys were chasing after me but then stopped to listen to what I had to say
He was great. Stewart Francis is also pretty funny and there's another comedian too that was at Just for Laughs who was good. He had a particularly large nose and talked very poignantly. Crowd was pretty rough on him though. I guess they were expecting more stories.
Jun 19, 2011 at 9:00pm Jun 19, 2011 at 9:10pm
Did you see him on Distracted? That weird trivia reality show where you answer questions while being teased by something or other? It was incredibly strange but I have to admit it was good fun too. I remember once they had to buzz in by taking a leak in a toilet.
Very classy guy.
Very classy guy.
Jun 19, 2011 at 9:48pm
Two in particular, from the same source.
| "What were you hoping for? That I would break down in full-fledged horror of my own experience?" "...no, but I was expecting you to lose your usual cheery tone." |
| [...W]e're slowly running out of air." "How are you saying this casually?" "Oh, it's quite easy. [...] Ah, smell that fresh air! Oh, but don't breathe too deeply, now. We're running on a limited supply." |
Jun 20, 2011 at 12:28pm
I remember Mitch Hedberg now! The hippy looking dude who wore (blue?) sunglasses. Wow that guy is great, too bad they only play his one stand up act on TV. I should look for more of his stuff.
Jun 20, 2011 at 12:48pmclosed account (1yR4jE8b)
RIP
Mitch Hedberg, yet another great that died way too soon.
Mitch Hedberg, yet another great that died way too soon.
Jun 22, 2011 at 6:46pm
Just remembered another good Jimmy Car line (I'm not sure if it's in chrisname's video because I have dial-up and can't watch it):
- You know why boxers don't have sex before they fight? They don't fancy each other.
Great comedian.
- You know why boxers don't have sex before they fight? They don't fancy each other.
Great comedian.
Last edited on Jun 22, 2011 at 6:46pm
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