Females
Occasionally, someone of a female gender turns up on these forums and explicitly states they are female.
I've noticed that when this happens, there's usually a rather unusual reaction considering the normally observed behavior of most of the members of this forum.
Thread that triggered this:
http://cplusplus.com/forum/beginner/28913/
Discuss.
-Albatross
I've noticed that when this happens, there's usually a rather unusual reaction considering the normally observed behavior of most of the members of this forum.
Thread that triggered this:
http://cplusplus.com/forum/beginner/28913/
Discuss.
-Albatross
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Regarding the reaction: I don't think there's anything to it other than the obvious: sexually repressed computer geeks wanting to win brownie points with the opposite gender.
As for them announcing they're female, it might be that they're doing it for attention because they know people will react to them differently. But it also could be harmless and without some ulterior motive.
I thought it somewhat ironic that in the thread you linked she mentioned herself as a "part time model". That's pretty blantant attention seeking, but likely would have an adverse reaction on this forum. Or at least it did with me (given the stereotypes with models, it made me less inclined to want to go out of my way to help).
As for them announcing they're female, it might be that they're doing it for attention because they know people will react to them differently. But it also could be harmless and without some ulterior motive.
I thought it somewhat ironic that in the thread you linked she mentioned herself as a "part time model". That's pretty blantant attention seeking, but likely would have an adverse reaction on this forum. Or at least it did with me (given the stereotypes with models, it made me less inclined to want to go out of my way to help).
Agreed.
I thought that post was innocuous, until I noticed the troll-like "part time model" note - that's when I become a little wary. Perhaps she really is who she says she is, and this is an unfortunate side-effect of the anonymity of the Web... ...who knows for sure?
It should be irrelevant to the responders, though (in an ideal world).
I thought that post was innocuous, until I noticed the troll-like "part time model" note - that's when I become a little wary. Perhaps she really is who she says she is, and this is an unfortunate side-effect of the anonymity of the Web... ...who knows for sure?
It should be irrelevant to the responders, though (in an ideal world).
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It is a bit sad that any personal difference (whether it be sex, ethnicity, age, ect) should evoke different responses. Simply answer their questions with the normal respect you would give anyone else. Of course some identifiers (such as age) may be worth changing in case you have to change the level of technicality in your language. I avoided the whole topic because I am no pointer expert and that I saw the other posts and felt I better stay away.
Although that is logical, what if they are who they say they are? I'd say it's better to be conservative until you can see if they really are. Maybe they aren't a model but if they are, more offense would probably be taken.
| I thought that post was innocuous, until I noticed the troll-like "part time model" note - that's when I become a little wary. |
Although that is logical, what if they are who they say they are? I'd say it's better to be conservative until you can see if they really are. Maybe they aren't a model but if they are, more offense would probably be taken.
Am I the only one with a built in noise filter that blocks all that inane garbage? Usually all I get is
I wouldn't have even seen the "24f" part.
In this situations, the best course of action is to pretend you didn't see anything. If it's attention-seeking, ignoring it discourages the behavior; if it isn't, ignoring it is just the polite thing to do.
Honestly, I don't know what's worse, the need some women seem to have to explicitly state that they're women, or the actual reactions those statements cause. Why do they even do it? I've never felt compelled to say "I'm a man, you know?" Maybe they think we've never seen a woman before and are curious about what our reaction is when we finally encounter this mythical second gender?
I hate people.
| SHHH-SHHHHHH-SHHHHH so my question is [...] |
In this situations, the best course of action is to pretend you didn't see anything. If it's attention-seeking, ignoring it discourages the behavior; if it isn't, ignoring it is just the polite thing to do.
Honestly, I don't know what's worse, the need some women seem to have to explicitly state that they're women, or the actual reactions those statements cause. Why do they even do it? I've never felt compelled to say "I'm a man, you know?" Maybe they think we've never seen a woman before and are curious about what our reaction is when we finally encounter this mythical second gender?
I hate people.
I also happen to have that filter, helios. I didn't notice the 27f, part time model part until r0shi brought it up. I even posted a response indicating I couldn't care less: http://cplusplus.com/forum/beginner/28913/#msg156590
NOTE: I also edited that post to indicate that I couldn't stand some of the responses.
[random LOTR reference]
You're not alone in this fight. Send word to Theoden of Rohan. Light the beacons. I'm sure that will make him fall off his horse.
[/random LOTR reference]
Also, helios... do you really want me to answer that second to last question?
-Albatross
NOTE: I also edited that post to indicate that I couldn't stand some of the responses.
[random LOTR reference]
You're not alone in this fight. Send word to Theoden of Rohan. Light the beacons. I'm sure that will make him fall off his horse.
[/random LOTR reference]
Also, helios... do you really want me to answer that second to last question?
-Albatross
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Let's just say some of us recognize the reality that explicitly stating that we are a) female and sometimes b) of good genetic quality usually gets us a relatively positive reaction (relative to if we stated nothing).
I avoid doing this. It's cheap and the positive reactions are usually worthless (aside from an ego-boost for those who don't realize it's worthless ;) ).
-Albatross
I avoid doing this. It's cheap and the positive reactions are usually worthless (aside from an ego-boost for those who don't realize it's worthless ;) ).
-Albatross
closed account (iw0XoG1T)
Sexual stereotyping for females does not always work in their favor. In my career I have noticed that young attractive females are often given better work -- and the response to their work seems positive i.e. management treats the work with more respect and is less critical. But, as they gain weight and approach middle age the second part of the stereotype creeps in and this is the reverse of the first.
My advice to the young and the attractive is take advantage of what you can, but don't get fooled, because it hurts when you find out that people really cared more about what you looked like than what you did.
My advice to the young and the attractive is take advantage of what you can, but don't get fooled, because it hurts when you find out that people really cared more about what you looked like than what you did.
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closed account (D80DSL3A)
Albatross wrote:
Actually, I think I may have triggered the threads descent into debauchery with this:
in my post just before m4ster r0shi.
I felt that this mildly flirtatious remark was OK because OP had included such slightly salacious info. I felt that she was inviting light, sensible flirtation.
I note that no others before me made mention of it.
If my remark was acceptable because it is mild, was it wrong to make because of the tone it set in the thread?
| I didn't notice the 27f, part time model part until r0shi brought it up. |
Actually, I think I may have triggered the threads descent into debauchery with this:
| Also, hello to teapotz, 27f part time model. |
I felt that this mildly flirtatious remark was OK because OP had included such slightly salacious info. I felt that she was inviting light, sensible flirtation.
I note that no others before me made mention of it.
If my remark was acceptable because it is mild, was it wrong to make because of the tone it set in the thread?
I myself didn't even notice the 27f stuff and I really couldn't care less. Also, flirting is not a bad thing by it's self, just - taking the anonymity on the intertubes into account - know that besides your own ego there's nothing much going on here, try it in real life.
I don't feel like going into a sociological / psychological discussion, so this is my first and last post in this thread. ;)
I don't feel like going into a sociological / psychological discussion, so this is my first and last post in this thread. ;)
It's ironic, because treating women like they're weaker or like they're the inferior gender does NOT score points. They can see it and some of them (mostly NBs) will exploit it. It's actually counter-productive; rather than thinking you're such a lovely man like they do in cheesy movies, they tend to view you more as an asexual doormat. I've been observing this in my new school recently (my previous one was single-sexed*); one of my friends seems to go out of his way to be "nice" to girls. He offers to pay for their stuff and I think it's really stupid. It's good if they're giving you something in return (e.g. a relationship), but really - it's almost like sexism. Or just "trying too hard".
*For anyone who is considering sending their children to a single-sex school, DON'T. You might think that by sending your son/daughter to a school for boys/girls only, you avoid sexuality getting in the way of education. Quite the opposite. There are still female teachers, and sixth forms are, AFAIK, always unisex. This actually has the effect of breeding MORE sexual tension. I recall a boy who would point out all the attractive female sixth formers that walked past: sure, it's great that you've notice that women have boobs and all, but really; you don't need to point it out...
*For anyone who is considering sending their children to a single-sex school, DON'T. You might think that by sending your son/daughter to a school for boys/girls only, you avoid sexuality getting in the way of education. Quite the opposite. There are still female teachers, and sixth forms are, AFAIK, always unisex. This actually has the effect of breeding MORE sexual tension. I recall a boy who would point out all the attractive female sixth formers that walked past: sure, it's great that you've notice that women have boobs and all, but really; you don't need to point it out...
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