How offensive am I?

[jleach]

Often I see comments like "that sucks", "gay", "bitches", "tits", etc on websites like youtube. We live in different countries and we take these words in different ways. so my questions are

1. Are western people have habit on saying rude words but not intentionally insult or do they mean to insult?

Unfortunately, yes... a great many people in America at least have lost all sight of respect and politeness, and the internet is a place for them to say what they want without having to worry about them getting in any "real" trouble for it. On the other hand, many people of the younger generation use sayins like that jokingly between themselves, but in cases like you describe I would think the former.

2. What do you think about those behaviors (written above) and how do you deal with it. (state your country if you don't mind)

Again, from America, and I just tend to ignore them for the most part. Long ago I realized worrying over how other people are getting worked up is not worth it. Especially more-or-less anons from the internet. You certainly can't talk sense into them or teach them respect...

3. Do you find someone offensive in this thread http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/windows/28937/#msg157147

Quite so. There's one person in this thread that is on track to go through life doing nothing but angering people and wondering why. Again, no respect.

My wife is from the Philippines, and I'll tell you, talk about two different worlds. You guys still have values over there... in America values are becoming more and more like common sense... so rare its a superpower.

Cheers,
Jack

[contyler]

For the pretty offensive, you get badly defensive.

[Disch]

I know I'm coming into this late... but jleach's post in particular seemed a little too one-sided, and I feel I must comment.

jleach: I don't mean to out you on this, please don't take offense. It just seems like you're comparing two cultures with bias.


My opinion is there's a time and a place for certain behavior. When you're with your friends you can joke around and use more profane language. If your friends are into that kind of thing, there's nothing wrong with it.

If your at a business meeting, it's a bad idea, as it's not appropriate in that setting.

This is important: most people can make the above distiction.

The problem is, even though people can easily make that distinction in real life, they can't always make the distinction on the internet. Many of them see the internet as "the internet" - as if it were a singlular setting. They don't make a distinction between more lax internet cultures (like, say, /b/) where such crude behavior is acceptable, and more professional internet cultures (like, say, this forum) where such behavior is widely considered unnacceptable.

jleach wrote:

My wife is from the Philippines, and I'll tell you, talk about two different worlds. You guys still have values over there

This comment in particular irked me, jleach.

There's good and bad in every cuture. Perhaps you've just been underexposed to the "bad" in Philippino culture and been overexposed to the "bad" in US culture.

I often get frustrated with how the US is perceived to be some cultural sewer where people have no manners and are obnoxious, etc, etc. We're not as bad as we're made out to be by foreigners (and even some of our own citizens, apparently).

A lot of it is culture shock. I find that many Americans tend to be louder and more outspoken than other cultures. One might perceive that to mean we're more obnoxious or abrasive, but I could just as easily claim that to mean that we're less oppressed and more open to discussion.

So yeah. Have some national pride, jleach ;P.

[helios]

If you want a second opinion, from what I've seen of English-speaking cultures (which, admittedly, isn't as much as it could be, so take this with a grain of salt) everyday language is slightly less profane and slightly more formal than Spanish. It might have been different if English had formal and informal second person pronouns, though.
Then again, like Disch said, it all depends on what you're exposed to. If I'm being cynical, I'd probably say people is rude no matter what language they speak.

[jleach]

I don't mean to out you on this, please don't take offense. It just seems like you're comparing two cultures with bias.

None at all taken, in fact, thanks for speaking up on it.

Generally I try to keep an open mind and not be biased on anything really, but now that you mention it, I certainly agree that I was. Apparently I was in a bad mood when I posted that... I didn't necessarily intend to say 'America sucks', because I don't feel that way at all (though reading back through, I see how that message did get across).

You've done a good job boiling OPs topic down I think, with the "making distinction and knowing when and where" statement, and I apologize for not fully extrapolating in my previous post. I could go on to post a great many things that I like better about America, and I could go on to post a great many more things that I like better about the Filipino culture... my previous statement was just one view of many that I have, but I'll refrain from delving into those details... I'm guessing we'd like to avoid debates over politics and religion and all those other topics that nobody ever gets worked up over (ha!).

All in all, I think there's a pretty good balance to everything. Every culture has it's pros and cons, but that doesn't make one any better than it makes any others. I certainly don't dislike America, or anywhere else for that matter, but that was just one particular (bias, true) view that I've had in my (limited) experience in comparing the two places.

At the end of the day, when I see people posting remarks such as those mentioned in OPs post, I don't generally pay any attention. People say what they will say, and there's nothing to be done for it, and therefore no sense it letting it bother me... the world will continue to turn :)

And finally, fitting on more than one level of this thread:

"A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanging, it is the skin of a living thought and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and time in which it is used."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935)


Cheers,
Jack

[1yvXoG1T]

My opinion is there's a time and a place for certain behavior. When you're with your friends you can joke around and use more profane language. If your friends are into that kind of thing, there's nothing wrong with it.

If your at a business meeting, it's a bad idea, as it's not appropriate in that setting.

This. Context is everything. I will fully admit that I will pop in on /b/ from time to time and whilst there, am just as offensive and profane as anyone else on there. But that is what /b/ is for and is essentially one giant joke. However, when posting on other places with either a more formal or more broad audience, I tend to bring it down quite a few notches.

As has already been stated, the "shock" factor has been completely overused. When someone runs a stream of F-bombs while referencing forced fellatio with a lawnmower, and they aren't using it in the proper context, then my instant thought is that the person is a moron and doesn't understand how to conduct themselves. Either that or they are still going through that teenage phase where they think that it's "cool" to act like that.

I live in the Midwest of the USA but I'd like to say that I don't think there is that much of a correlation between location and online conduct. I have talked to plenty of rude, offensive, or generally not very well versed in the language at hand, people from all over the world.

I think a major part of this is the fact that the Internet is still in it's infancy. This may just be hopeful thinking but I'm thinking that as the years go on and we spend more and more of our time connected then more people will begin to assess themselves not just in terms of their "physical" self but also in terms of the "digital" self.

Trying not to detract too far from the original topic but is anyone else irked by folks who use things like

u no wut i meen?

[jleach]

Trying not to detract too far from the original topic but is anyone else irked by folks who use things like

u no wut i meen?

Haha, yes... very much so. It's quite amusing sometimes... it seems like they would have to go through more effort to type incomprehesibly than it would be to use real words! Especially for those in (or aspiring to be in) programming. We have to be perfect with our typing... you wouldn't think it'd be that hard.

Cheers,