C++ Instructors

all sorts of military hardware will just get abandoned on the side of the road.

Exactly. Hasn't Mr. Greek God ever watched a Zombie film???

I've seen most of the Dead series, including the original Night of the Living Dead, but I've never seen an armored vehicle lying around. A zombie horde simply doesn't stand a chance against a tank, so there's no way you'd find one abandoned unless it ran out of both fuel and ammo. In that case, the tank won't help you much.

closed account (z05DSL3A)

How would you procure something like that?

If shit came to shove, I'd be heading to the army base just down the road, if there is anyone there I'll take them as my primary weapon, else see what is left. Might try a quick trip to the local Police station first, I've seen armored Land Rovers there.

Here's my analysis on such a situation:

1. Unless your hauling some ridiculous military grade gun with exploding rounds, the bullets aren't going to do much but maybe slow down their progress.
2. Baseball bats require close proximity to the suckers so while your swinging at one's head, the other one is chewing yours off from behind.
3. Homemade Flamthrowers... while this sounds like a lot of fun, lets face it, even a human that's hit by one will run around for about 1 minute before dying... imagine a brainless mindless painless zombie... now you have a flaming undead coming after you... this will just make things worse.
4. Military grade Flamethrowers... napalm will melt the suckers... but you risk detonation hauling around that pack and I'm not sure which is worse, getting your face chewed off by a zombie or napalm? I would avoid this option.
5. Tanks & Military vehicles. Too many problems with this approach. If there is a zombie problem, most likely the power will be out as it seems to always be the case.... I don't know why. So at some point you are going to run out of gas and have no power to refuel or out of ammo. You are also severely limited in mobility and at some point you need to come out of that tank. All other vehicles won't cut it either, they all have disadvantages.

Solution:
1. Head to your local antique collector or specialized vendor.. or a castle if you have one nearby... none in the US and get yourself a nice set of medieval Knight armor. This way you can roam the streets without fear. No zombie is strong enough to bash their way through and you'll have no threat of contact and being chewed apart or cut. To solve the mobility issue, make sure the gear doesn't have that hooked spike at the end or you'll be moving at .05 mph.
2. Get yourself a personal soundtrack tshirt to wear under the armor. I think thinkgeek.com has one. Load up your favorite video game battle music and let it play as you move into the fray. It's important to be in the zone and feel no fear or remorse when you see your family members coming at you!
3. Katana - Get yourself a carbon steel Katana that can easily slice through bone. I would haul this baby around and just cut limbs off. Even if there are 10 surrounding me, since I'm wearing armor and have no exposed flesh, It's just a hack and slash adventure.
4. Battle Axe - This will make you look forward to the zombie encounter and just owning one might make you picture people as zombies.... This baby will cleave the air and slice through them like a knife through butter.

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1. Armor has weight. Armor can be taken off. Zombies have minimal dexterity and intelligence.
3. You're either underestimating the hardness of human bone, or overestimating your strength. Chopping off a head with a sword is quite a feat even for a soldier. Now for a C++ programmer...
An axe may be a better choice.

1. Yes you're right at some point the armor will have to be taken off. And you do of course loose agility. The point of the armor is to handle mobs of zombies... if that's not the case it may be overboard.
3. I don't think strength is the issue unless you have a crappy blade. I've studied martial arts for most of my life, and grew up with Katanas so hacking through something is second nature for me anyway. A properly forged carbon steel blade can easily cut through human bone without great strength. Now for situations where you have a poor blade, strength and the strike location and speed are key. Maybe the axe would be a better option for C++ guys... but also, not all the zombies will be freshly minted. Many of them will emerge from the ground rotting and decaying. So even a child should be able to hack those up :)

I think what he meant is that if a large horde of zombies were to push you to the ground... eventually your armour is going to be removed. Zombies may not be smart; but instinctively they'll seek to remove from their path whatever it is which is stopping their feeding. If that happens to be the hundred-odd pounds of steel you strapped to your thighs, so be it. They'll claw their way around and figure it out eventually.

Ah I see lol. Yes that is of course the disadvantage of the armor. I wonder what options you would have once you're on the ground like a turtle flipped on its shell.... All this zombie talk... I need to play Silent Hill.

Actually, I meant that the zombies would eventually catch up with you, overwhelm you, and take your armor off.

I'm not convinced. Unless you tell me you've participated in a seppuku or you're that guy who wanted to cut the heads of 100 Chinese in a single day.
Also, bone doesn't rot.

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DrChill (574)

ROFL, funny how fast conversations change topics eh?

At what age can ~~you shoot ill equipped farmers~~ buy guns ~~for committing mass murder killing small animals~~ firing at firing rages in jolly old England?

I am near frieng pans and large sharp knifes and a large supply of food so I will be good for a while though this building is not well armored, and there are no castles nearby.

Though we do have an airforce base nearby, that may either be useful for killing of loads of zombies or transport (I'll have to get chrisname to tell me where a good castle is) to some sort of weapon shop.

Also since I don't watch that many zombie movies, when do they die? Is it like when their heads are chopped of or when they can no longer function? And is the zombie merely infected(why did I say merely?) cursed?

Also do you think we would have internet still or is the de-activation thingy at the ISP's HQ automatic?

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At what age can you shoot ill equipped farmers buy guns for committing mass murder killing small animals firing at firing rages in jolly old England?

No idea. I think you can buy guns at some age with a license, but I really don't know.

At what age can you shoot ill equipped farmers buy guns for committing mass murder killing small animals firing at firing rages in jolly old England?

Well as long as you board up windows and stuff, you'll be ok.

no castles nearby.

Pwned. I can drive to Eynsford castle, where my friend lives (15 minutes), I can get a train to London and go to the Tower of London, or I can drive to Lullingstone (15 minutes) and go in the castle there. So that gives me at least three castles I can get to in less than half an hour. Bear in mind that as it's a zombie apocalypse, cars and such would be abandoned so there'd be very little traffic and I'd be able to get there quicker.

hough we do have an airforce base nearby, that may either be useful for killing of loads of zombies or transport

Did I mention that I live near Fort Halstead (it's 5 miles away)? Apparently they test stuff there.

Also since I don't watch that many zombie movies, when do they die? Is it like when their heads are chopped of or when they can no longer function?

No idea.

Also do you think we would have internet still

Yes.

jRaskell (347)

Did I mention that I live near Fort Halstead (it's 5 miles away)? Apparently they test stuff there.

Sounds exactly like the kind of place that starts the zombie apocalypse.

Mythios (1058)

This topic has given my a good laugh :) - I'm loving it. Reading it out to my girlfriend.

Sounds exactly like the kind of place that starts the zombie apocalypse

lol yes it does. If your in England you would be basically screwed unless you could get off the island... there just isn't anywhere to hide. Eventually they would catch up with you.

As far as when they die... I guess it depends on what kind of zombies we're talking about. Some just keep moving even after being dismembered, the hands crawl towards you and the head wails. Some die the moment their central nervous system is snapped. I think the best solution in the case of England would be to somehow lure the zombies to one area... maybe herd all the prisoners, lawyers, government officials, and financial advisors in a large plaza and just let them get eaten. While the human smorgasbord is underway, drop a tactical nuke on the area or hose it with napalm.... surely the above mentioned people == zombies anyway right?!

One thing I do question... the typical zombie encounter always has one of those suckers chomping it's way through a human skull... Now I haven't tried to bite into a human head recently, but I just don't think it's possible for a zombie to eat through the bone with ease or at all.

when do they die? Is it like when their heads are chopped of or when they can no longer function?

One has been shown to function when their heads were almost completely removed except for his brain and spine. Brain damage is the only thing that kills a zombie, but cutting off the head leaves it harmless. Their lifespan is unknown of varies with the source material. They may very well be immortal.

And is the zombie merely infected(why did I say merely?) cursed?

There are two set of rules.
By Romero's rules, the "apocalypse" in "zombie apocalypse" is quite literal. Anyone who dies, regardless of how hey die, naturally becomes a zombie.
By Russo's rules, zombiism is a disease.
Russo's rules have become more popular in the last decade. Possibly due to Blade, which gave vampirism a biological explanation.

I can drive to Eynsford castle, where my friend lives (15 minutes), I can get a train to London and go to the Tower of London, or I can drive to Lullingstone (15 minutes) and go in the castle there.

I predict two ultimate results:
1. The entrance is barricaded from the inside. You may be able to get when...
2. Security is compromised. Everyone inside die.

The correct way to deal with a zombie apocalypse is to move to a cold area. The zombies, having no self-defense mechanism, will soon freeze like corpsicles. In that state, they can be easily disposed of.

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tition (887)

I disagree. Imagine you are a knight with 50kg of metal armor on you on that heavy battle horse. You cant get on the horse alone, and if you fall, you might not be able to get up, and if you do, you can't really climb back on the horse. By any means, once off the horse, you are as good as dead.

You wait for half a day to join the battle at the decisive moment. Now suddenly you want to go to the toilet, very urgently. What do you do?

Let's face it, you won't take your armor off.

Yep. It you want protection against zombies, you don't need plate armor. Let's face it, a zombie isn't going to take a swing at you with a longsword. Chainmail is more than enough. Although I don't know how much lighter it is.