Code Insults

[Austin J]

The goal of this is to insult the general population of cplusplus.com with a piece of code.

Here's my commitment -

class YourMom
{
   void eat()
   { 
       eat(); 
   }
public:
   YourMom() 
   { 
      eat(); 
   }
};

[Zhuge]

@the above code and all code following:

#include <iostream.h>
#include <conio.h>
using namespace std;
main() {
    cout<<"That piece of code is worthless excuse for an insult.";
    getch();
}

[ResidentBiscuit]

Zhuge wins. At least he knows how to write elegant code that conforms to standards. C'mon OP, those brackets...

[Stormboy]

TBH, this thread is totally pointless. But here:

#include <iostream>
#include <string>

using namespace std;

class YourDad
{
private:
    void sucks(string drink);
public:
    YourDad(string drink);
};

YourDad::YourDad(string drink)
{
    sucks(drink);
    cout << "You've constructed your Dad. Good job!" << endl;
}

void YourDad::sucks(string drink)
{
    cout << "Your dad sucks the shit outta " << drink << endl;
}

(Note: This is purely a joke and no intention was made to insult anyone. )

[Catfish666]

import std.stdio;

void main()
{
    writeln("Hello users of an inferior language!");
}

[Stormboy]

@ Catfish666: I would be guessing that its D right? Good to know someone else here uses that language too.

[Austin J]

Lol, I wrote this thread from a mobile device, so I was trying to avoid too many lines. Since you guys are so picky about something pointless I'll change it lmao.

[booradley60]

#include <iostream>
void main()
{
    std::cout << "Hello world";
    system("pause");
}

[Austin J]

I see what you did there...

[Mats]

#include <iostream>
#include <random>

int main()
{
    srand(4);
    char word[4];
    char word2[3];
    unsigned int i = 0;
    while(i != 176777)
    {
        word[0] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        word[1] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        word[2] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        word[3] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        ++i;
    }
    while(i != 215920)
    {
        word2[0] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        word2[1] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        word2[2] = rand() % 26 + 65;
        ++i;
    }
    std::cout << word[0] << word[1] << word[2] << word[3] << " " << word2[0] << word2[1] << word2[2] << "\n\n";
    return 0;
}

[ResidentBiscuit]

@Mats, AYIC IZM?

[booradley60]

/*
This forum contains a lot of oversensitive pedants that will
bicker about anything. The Lounge is a toilet. C++
is a hodgepodge of bolted-on feature sets inspired by better
languages. Every time you post template code in the beginner's
forum, a child in the world is starved on purpose. Torvalds
was right about C++, and he is smarter than all of you.
*/
int main() { return 0; }

:)

[Catfish666]

#include <stdio.h>

int main(void)
{
    printf("I     STILL     EXIST!\n");
}

[Mats]

@Mats, AYIC IZM?

That's a shame. I was hoping each version would check the same division on the same numbers when given the same seed (why don't they?). Apparently there is variance (depending on your system?), which I didn't expect.

[N36fSL3A]

@booradely

k.

-----

#define DO_THIS main()(return 0;)

DO_THIS

[CodeGazer]

#include <cstdio>
double m[]= {7709179928849219.0, 771};
int main(){m[1]--?m[0]*=2,main():printf((char*)m);}

That piece of code is actually quite fun to study why it does what it does.

[N36fSL3A]

What would be even more insulting would be this variation:

#include <stdio.h>
double m[]= {7709179928849219.0, 771};
int main(){m[1]--?m[0]*=2,main():printf((char*)m);}

[MiiNiPaa]

Mats code changed to work on all compilers:

#include <iostream>
#include <random>

int main ()
{
    std::linear_congruential_engine<uint_fast32_t, 214013, 2531011, 2147483648> rnd(4);
    char word[5]{0};
    char word2[4]{0};
    unsigned int i = 0;
    while(i != 176777)
    {
        word[0] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        word[1] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        word[2] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        word[3] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        ++i;
    }
    while(i != 215920)
    {
        word2[0] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        word2[1] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        word2[2] = (rnd() >> 16) % 26 + 65;
        ++i;
    }
    std::cout << word << " " << word2 << "\n\n";
}

@Catfish

printf("I STILL EXIST!\n")

#pragma GCC poison printf //You do not exist anymore

[Mats]

Thanks MiiNiPaa!

Could you give a quick explain on why it didn't work on all compilers and your modification did?

[MiiNiPaa]

rand() almost always uses linear congruental generator. Next number is calculated as xn = (axn-1 + c) % m. Values of a, c and m can vary depending on implementation. I just created an instance of LCG explicitly using constants from Microsoft Standard C Library.
MS version of C standard library is unique that it returns not least significant bits (usually 0-31 or 0-15) but most significant (starting with 16th). So I had to right shift result to get exact values.